Flip phones. Translucent tech. Low rise jeans. Inflatable furniture. Shimmering blue eyeshadow. What was once an era defined by excess, cringe, and too many belly button piercings is sweeping a generation dominated by AI, data centers, and faster technological advancements than iPhone releases. On an innocent evening out with my girlfriends, a handsome boy-man (26, at best) approached me to ask for my number, which I begrudgingly agreed to give because God forbid I am anything but disinterested and bored, and as he reached into his pocket, he pulled out the most sought after, ancient relic: a Motorola flip phone. And no, not the remakes they release today to appease this generation into thinking they’re living their best Laguna Beach- an actual, vintage phone from 2003. (How he is powering this puppy is both a mystery and an admirable quality.)
This lead us to a rabbit hole discussion of the age of nostalgia sweeping our nation, and perhaps a whole generation, consumed with the incessant thought of how life could have been had they been born about 20 years earlier. In a time predominantly defined by big tech and social media, it seems natural that the generation that missed out on all the silliness y2k brought with it would be longing for the simpler times. As predicted by almost any apocalyptic film ever, simpler is, was, and always will be, better!
Not only are gen z’ers brooding for a bygone time, they’re right there with millennials who are leading the tribe down y2k lane, with hoardes adopting a “dumb phone” policy, turning their apartments into a 90’s rom-com environment, and some even going so far as to raise their kids exclusively via VHS programming. Was the past really better, or are we turning into our parents and romanticizing a past that was taken from us too soon?
Vintage is taking over high fashion. 90s mania is taking over red carpets. And books are in vogue again! Oh my. But is everything newly-chic really just something very well preserved and forgotten? Perhaps some things are better left in the past, like the continuous body shaming of anyone who wasn’t a rail-thin size zero. Or the lack of equality or accurate female representation in any media thrust upon us. Or, even, the cruel dissection of young women coming into themselves. It seems for all the cutesy, whimsical nostalgia the 90’s/early 2000’s hold, there is also a lot that was left to be desired. But we’re not here to focus on that. What I’m here to discuss is how you, like that millennial-mourning man child, can too live your life with the whimsy and romanticization of the noughties.
The first step? Well, ditching the smart-phones to start. Whether that means for certain hours of the day, or completely switching to a “dumb phone.” This reconnects you back to day-to-day life and actually being present (whether that’s a good thing or not is up to you, tbh).
The second, and perhaps the most pressing, is of course the fashion! With the noughties we got boho chic, weirdly galactic, space themed clothes and interiors, low rise jeans with an array of embellishments, silk camisole tops that saw the streets more than the sheets, and so many other questionable fashions that can usher in your inner y2k character arc.
After you’ve ditched modernity and chosen a theme, you can now begin to lead the life of your very own Lorelai Gilmore, whether that means finding your local coffee shop and taking a residency, or or applying for a job that caters to this very subject.
Was the past really something magical and hopeful, and more than anything, simple? Perhaps it was. Or perhaps we saw it from a lens of simplicity because we knew nothing else. So, my advice to all who aspire to enter their leading-character-in-a-rom-com era, you can be an Andie Anderson, an Andie Sachs, or even a Daria, but if you do it, commit to the bit! Us 90’s kids wouldn’t have done it any other way.
More bedazzled everything,please
A necessary accessory for any y2k lover
Mantra of the Week:“You’ve got to get up every morning with determination if you’re going to go to bed with satisfaction.” — George Lorimer
Song of the Week: Forever Young - Youth Group
Horoscope for the Week
Aries
You’re going to feel a strong urge to say exactly what you’re thinking this week. Consider feeling it privately. Not every thought needs to become a developing situation.
Taurus
You’ve decided you need something you discovered approximately eleven minutes ago. It’s not an impulse purchase if you can already picture where it’s going to live.
Gemini
Your social battery will be operating on a completely unpredictable schedule this week. You’ll make plans enthusiastically and then spend the next 48 hours wondering who authorized them.
Cancer
Someone is going to say something completely normal and you’re going to detect a tone. Was there a tone? Irrelevant. You’ve already discussed it with three people.
Leo
You’re craving a little extra attention this week, but you’d rather die than directly ask for it. Luckily, there are several perfectly good photos of you waiting to be posted.
Virgo
You’re fixing a problem nobody else has noticed yet. Will they appreciate you for preventing it? Probably not. Will you quietly resent them for that? Absolutely.
Libra
You’re trying very hard to keep the peace this week. Unfortunately, you also have opinions. Expect at least one “I don’t care either way” followed by several extremely specific preferences.
Scorpio
You’ve noticed one tiny inconsistency and unfortunately that’s all you needed. By the end of the week, you’ll have timestamps, supporting documents, and absolutely no intention of bringing it up casually.
Sagittarius
You’re getting bored, which historically has not been great for your decision-making. Before booking something, texting someone, or changing your entire life, maybe go for a walk.
Capricorn
You’ve somehow turned your free time into a list of deliverables. If you catch yourself saying you’re “behind” on relaxing, please close the Notes app immediately.
Aquarius
Someone wants to have a serious conversation and you’ve already prepared several jokes to prevent that from happening. Unfortunately, they may ask how you actually feel. Stay alert.
Pisces
You’re about to mistake a coincidence for a sign from the universe. Could it mean something? Sure. Could you also just really want it to mean something? Listen to your mind, before jumping with your heart.